More bollocks from the physiotherapist

After having all that, I’ve dug through my bag of the leaflets that he’s given me. Now, consider that he thinks he really “Gets me” and knows that I “Don’t want any bullshit”. Complete with his statement of “Oh, us physios tend not to believe in anything that we’ve not seen with our own eyes.”

Three booklets – Two inappropriate in my specific case, and one which I think should be pulled from circulation altogether.

First, we’ll go with the tone-deaf; A leaflet called “Do you want to Improve your Health?”

“Health trainers provide a free one-on-one service to support you to lose weight, become more active, and manage your stress levels better, in order to lead a healthier lifestyle”

1) I’m not overweight. I’m 5’9, and weigh 9st5 at my heaviest.

2) I swim two to four times a week. I’m unable to walk, particularly. I’m as active as I can be, and every decent physio has told me to train less hard.

“A Health trainer could accompany you to the supermarket to help you understand food labelling and make healthier food choices”

3) I can’t physically get to the supermarket. I am more than capable of reading food labels, thank you. I eat a well-balanced diet. I supplement my B12, iron, calcium and vitamin C, I eat plenty of dark green leafy vegetables, wholemeal bread and pasta for soluble fibre, lentils and beans for protein, almonds, peanut butter and olive oil for fats. My only dietary vices are dark chocolate, port, three pints of beer a month and liquorice.

And finally;

“Health trainers work in the following areas-”

4) Nowhere near my house. Which the physio would have known, if he’d ever looked at my notes.

Insulting leaflet number two is an advert for the “Expert Patient Programme”, which seems to be CBT-lite. It’s also six two-and-a-half hour sessions (Can I concentrate for an hour at a time? My university sessions are about two and a half hours, and they wipe me out for a week afterwards…), taught by members of the public whose only training is… That they’ve done the course before. It looks very much like it’s a way to get the worried slightly-ill to talk to each other and thus feel less isolated and possibly to bother doctors less. This is a good thing. It’s probably not all that appropriate for someone who’s suffered from psychosis for years, who has said many, many times that they have difficulty talking about their problems in a group setting, and has an extremely rare illness that nobody else in the group will have even heard of. I don’t like people. I don’t like talking to them and I don’t like letting unnecessary extra people knowing what’s wrong with me. It’s not appropriate.

Insult three is the “Positive Care Programme” which, having been given to me by someone who prides himself on evidence and reasoning and not believing in bullshit, is interesting; It’s about alternative therapies.

As it says “Each week we like people to attend a Workshop, a Group Therapy, and an Individual Therapy.”

Here’s some highlights, because this booklet goes on forever;

Acupressure (“Causing the body’s energies to flow freely and enabling it to heal and balance itself”).

Emotional Freedom Technique “Freeing the flow of the body’s energy systems”.By holding the “healer’s” hands above or on the patient, to “clear energies that have become blocked”

Metamorphic Technique “Gently enabling us to move forward in life with greater ease” via touching your hands, feet and head.

Giving Voice “Finding the Song in your Heart”

Lots of stuff about “Spiritual exploration”

Nutritional therapy “Cleansing the body of accumulated wastes and toxins”

Tai Chi

Two types of meditation

Dru Yoga

The Alexander Technique (Lots of touching-based pseudoscience)

Shiatsu

Reflexology

Indian Head Massage (During which you may have a “Healing Crisis” in which “You may feel terrible for a few days, if the body has had a great many toxins removed)

And finally our good old friend acupuncture, which is claiming to cure “Anxiety, appetitie problems, arthritis, backache, bladder dysfunction, breathing difficulties, CFS, colds, constipation, cystitis, depression, diarrhoea, dizziness, fertility trouble, frozen shoulder, haemorrhoids, headaches, heartburn, indigestion, joint pain, leg cramps, lumbago, menopausal symptoms, menstrual problems, migraines, morning sickness, osteoarthritis, rhinitis, sciatica, sinusitis, sore throat, stomach disorders, ulcers, stress, tennis elbow and trigeminal neuralgia” which is a lot of conditions for something which isn’t really a medical treatment at all.

Brilliantly, the whole booklet begins with;

“It is important that people do not do more than one individual therapy each week as many of the therapies work on the body’s “Energy” field or by removing “toxins” and to have more than one individual therapy may be counterproductive.”

Ignoring the fact that, if your liver isn’t removing toxins, you’re going to need more than a quick bout of cuddles and crystals to make you better. And that there isn’t an energy field in the body that can be manipulated by gently touching it.

For fuck’s sake. This is all funded by the lottery, but it’s still fucking pseudoscience, and it’s still being pushed by the NHS.

 

And finally Insult Four was a letter about dealing with “Persistent pain” that was “Unexplained and did not respond to conventional treatment” – AKA “Pain that is completely psychological”. Further showing that he has no idea that EDS causes constant minor injuries in the form of subluxations and soft tissue injuries, and that my pain is perfectly explicable – AND that it responds well to actual therapies; Pain medication, massage, stretching, exercise, rest. He was just a terrible physio. The proverbial stopped clock that was right twice a day.

 

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