Never look back.

Am I odd, in that reminiscing about the past at all makes me violently depressed?

I went and had a look through my old blogs tonight (2002-03, 2005-2009, 2010-2011 and 2014-) and, even though none of them have particularly depressing content (Other than, well, seeing that yes, I really have been very depressed, very insomniac, and in constant pain for my whole adult life, and that so many of the lovely people with bright futures in the early entries are now dead or vanished), it made me cry uncontrollably.

Seriously, I should just never look back. I hate my life now, I hated it then as well, and yet I can’t help but look back and think that it has just got quietly worse.

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3 thoughts on “Never look back.

  1. The past is how you got here. If here is shit then the past will be too. But remember selection bias. I think you have good things in there too.
    My past contains elements that even hollyoaks would consider far fetched. I can honestly say that the last time i was happy was 4 and 9 days. Pre school. After that its shades of black and horror.
    Ironically i used to wish for a rare disease or disability so people would be nice to me. Becoming a zebra was just fate having a laugh.
    My past makes me angry. Sometimes with others. But mainly myself.

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