Very short update today, just that I got the phonecall from the fracture clinic – No bony injury at all on my x-rays, so no fracture clinic appointment, so time for more physio.
I pointed out that I already have more physio on the 6th, but apparently this is *more* more physio.
I genuinely cannot fucking deal with any more physio. It’s exhausting, it’s a complete shitshow as to whether I get someone who wants to help or someone who wants to make me miserable and guilty, and courses are never long enough to do any real good. Plus, since there’s no specialist EDS physios nearby anymore, I get given exercises that I can’t physically do, over and over again. And then I get called either lazy for not doing them, or irresponsible for doing them and hurting myself.
I’m also seeing a GP about my resounding self-hatred on the same day, so that should be fun.
Today I was supposed to be out with Best Friend, shopping for shirts and things. I decided that going clothes shopping alongside someone who generally has a much smoother relationship with his appearance than I do to mine was probably going to just upset me, so I went for a quick lurk around the necropolis instead. Briefly perked up for the two hours that I was out there – Sitting under the cherry-blossom trees with warm stone under your arse and the sound of pigeons echoing int he old funeral chapel will cheer anyone up – but I’m now home again and sore and going back to going out of my mind. Last night was a bit of a dark night of the soul, and I think it’s going to be a while before I pick back up from it.