CBT today. Made it to the town centre by 7.30, was all prepared and stuff, got on really well with the instructor and everyone, but couldn’t keep up with the ableds. So, instead of spending the afternoon out on a bike, I came home at midday. This fits the pattern very neatly with every other new thing I’ve tried since diagnosis, and also with every old thing that I’ve tried to re-learn.
Lost some money, set my confidence back, feel like this was confirmation that I will learn no new skills and get no better at old ones, so am now officially waiting for death. I have got very good at letting months pass in a haze, out of necessity, so it shouldn’t feel like too long, I hope.