Despite having a really rough time at the minute, I’ve decided that I’m going to try to book in to take my compulsory basic training again at some point before autumn, on a private day, and with the proviso of “I will go slowly when I need to. I will have lots of cups of tea. When I need things explained five times, you will do so.”
I may get in touch with the NABD as well, and see if they’ll send a representative to help me out on the day with thinking of how to adapt both movements and the physical motorcycle itself to fit me better.
I’m swimming regularly – My health is a lot more stable than it was in May, and my energy levels are higher, even if I am depressed and hopeless – so I’ve proved to myself that I can keep small deadlines and work myself hard for periods of time. All I need to do is focus, and get it done. The instructor even said that there had been a previous client who had come back half a dozen times, always nervous, never quite able to get out on the road, bad sciatica that made her unsteady, and then one day she’d had a “click” moment and had been off so fast andd fluently that he was having difficulty keeping up.
I could have that sort of moment. I’ve definitely had them before. Three years of rambling at sculpting and making no progress, then made a couple of tweaks, and suddenly I could. A year of sewing functional-but-uninspiring junk, and then something clicked and I started turning out things I was proud of.
If I’m not riding again within a year, I will eat my hat. And I have plenty to choose from.