So, i definitely seem to be shedding marbles at an alarming rate. Yesterday I ended up ran completely ragged – Numerous errands, dinnertime swim, housework – then had a horrible migraine that was just stopped in its tracks by Zomig (Which is basically magic, apart from that after taking it I’m completely useless and sleepy).
Then I had a horrendous anxiety attack just as I was going to sleep, and woke up this morning feeling like death. Physically sore everywhere, with that horrible floppy pain in my back that always comes before a really nasty episode of back pain, and suicidal.
So I did the most intelligent thing I could think of, and went for a swim.
Usually, this clears my head and makes me feel better and brighter. Instead, after about 400m I had to get out because I just couldn’t shake the horrible, sick feeling of not wanting to exist. The water was too syrupy, the other swimmers were annoying obstructions, even when they weren’t, and the thought of having to exchange a couple of words at the lane-ends, even to sort out swimming order, was just too much.
I got out, came home, collected the dog from my next-door-neighbour (who is used to my occassional headlong dives into wordless sorrow) and now I’m lying on the sofa and trying to work up the energy to watch Red Dwarf, or something, until Dearest gets back to keep an eye on me.