(Not a reference to anything external, sadly. Boris Gilt was a golden kirin that I once dreamt/hallucinated, who was sitting on the toilet in my old flat, holding a copy of the Financial Times and wearing a bowler hat, and when questioned as to why he was there responded with “Sorry, Charles and Charles had a prior engagement and couldn’t be here.”)
But really, guilt. Today has been all about guilt.
Things that have been too painful, exhausting, or confusing to do;
-Put on clothes
-Talk to best friend over Skype
– Interact with Dearest at all, including simple conversation
So what I have done today;
-Laid on sheepskin, staring at ceiling
-Tried to watch TV, but instead kept interrupting the episode by finishing the conversations I’d failed at earlier, making both impossible to understand.
-Made mess in kitchen, left half-full bowl of bright yellow curry on settee.
-Made mess of settee by kicking the cushions around in circles whilst trying to get comfortable.
-Returned to lying on sheepskin, sleeping.
Basically, I feel as if I should be being a better partner. And my migraine is back, with not so much a vengeance as with tiny niggling pains all over.
Tomorrow I intend to buy new pillows, probably of the massive bolster kind. They make everything better. Also new sheets, since the ones I have are wearing thin, and new curtains to block out the bloody stupid flashing light opposite which is almost certainly part of the problem. I also really want to get some green glass lamps, the ones with the little folding glass doors in the metal frames, so that I can have green candlelight to fall asleep in.
GP appointment on Monday at 17.00, to talk about migraines and medication. Probably a good start.